Now retired from art. See notice below.
Erik
FORMAL NOTICE OF INDEFINITE RETIREMENT
Right off the bat, I would like to apologize to all of you and any of you that this all seems a bit sudden and without warning. That is my fault. I don't ever air my dirty laundry publicly or let out much to people I do not know. I see too much of that on my feed and it just all seems pointless to do so. Thoughts and Prayers are fake. There is no Higher Source to intervene. All we truly ever have is one another to see needs of others and to help accordingly. That being said, I have the following statement...
I am officially retiring from art. Period. I've been at this for almost 34 years and I am no closer to "making it" than I was when I started. Three decades of foolish regrets and more guilt than I can even fully comprehend just yet.
I've been through three life partners with this silly dream and each one, once they saw how difficult it was or, in some cases, how selfish they perceived it to be, they simply told me to quit. They were jealous of either the amount of time it took to get to a point of perfection in one's art that is required to get noticed or they simply no longer saw the financial investment as worth it. No matter the reason, the end result was the same: I died inside.
And now, on my fourth life partner through this fiasco of a dream and yes, I may die inside again, but Kim is worth dying for.
As such, we, the entire family, after investing thousands of dollars with no getting ahead at all in this business, are now flat broke. Borderline penniless. We've lost both vehicles, and we live in very squalid conditions with a constant infestation of bed bugs, spiders and what have you because our rental home has a cracked foundation and all of nature just pours right into the house.
Next, my Complex PTSD. It's bad. really bad. So bad that I've sent three of my eight counselors from the past out the door of their own office crying. You do not ever want to know the reasons for my very severe PTSD. I was told that I have hundreds of triggers. So many that I will never know all of them and they are everywhere. Smells. Sounds. Shapes of people's faces. The way the sky looks. On and on and on. Quite often, I get black out triggers. I can have an episode and sometimes, even days later when I finally get out of a triggered state, I don't remember a thing I did or said. Frightening, not only for myself but for those loved ones around me experiencing it. This in turn sends me into a suicidal depression. I can't bare that I might've said or done something in such a state to have hurt those I love. It is quite unbearable and upon realizing such things, I want to end it all.....for everyone involved.
By the VA and by one Dr. Robert Soper in Eureka, CA, I was officially diagnosed with Complex PTSD, Massive Depressive Disorder and a Severe Sleep Disorder. I'm a trainwreck.
Next, our current situation dictates that I now must find gainful full time work. And to a very broken mind, this is daunting enough in itself. Now add that the kinds of work that I normally do and can do under radar, even while triggered because everyone is already pissy, I do not have the access to because of no vehicle. I'm good at hard labor jobs because everyone there already hates it, cussing and swearing, no PC environment. My terrified, triggered state blends right in. I come across extremely violent and combative. NOT my true nature. In reality, I work my ass off scared shitless of everyone and everything. Bigger Problem: I'm left with local retail jobs, in the public eye with very soft spoken and realitively kind co-workers. I'm good at this for a while, but then, there is always those one or two wack jobs you must work with and then BINGO! I'm triggered and I want to kick their ass. Not Erik. The PTSDemon defending Erik from the perceived hostility coming at him.
I know. It's a Hot Mess.
My only recourse aside from these retail jobs is to get back on a truck and do longhaul driving again. Which means I'll never be home and never see my family. I can't win. My art was my only hope at some sort of normalcy.
So, Triggered Erik and Art are Oil and Water. They don't mix. The triggers never leave as soon as I walk in the front door from work either. It can take hours for me to calm down or sometimes, it just never leaves at all. This is why I cannot hold a job and be an artist too. Impossible.
So, there you all go. For the first time ever, on Facebook, I gave it to ya'. Right between the eyes. You can't fix it. Nobody can fix it. See why I don't whine online?
You cannot do a thing for me. The one thing I was hoping that everyone would do is buy my art and that just did not happen enough or frequently.
I'm left with few choices, Fans.
Thanks for understanding,
Erik
PS: I'm leaving my websites, pages and Social Media Fan Pages active as well as the Print Shops open. You can still purchase the 300+ works I created in a variety of formats and sizes by clicking the links in the upper right corner.
Thanks again
I literally drew and painted it all.
A decade of my art represented here. And it's ALL still available as Prints, Posters and other Merch.
I have three main shops to choose various qualities, sizes, merch and formats. Giclees, T-Shirts and Hoodies, Postcards and Greeting Cards, Stickers, Photo Prints, Posters and even some Computer Skins and Phone Covers in addition to the huge amount of Posters. There's even some custom framing and matting available as well.
If you don't see something that you remembered over the years and liked, let me know and I can either load it up or Special Order it.
MY SHOPS
Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/erikstittart?asc=u
ArtPal: https://www.artpal.com/redwoodjedi
DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/redwoodjedi/prints/
If you would like to have something ordered and signed, please email me at erikstittart@gmail.com to discuss sizes and prices.
Thank you all for over a Decade of support and kindness,
Erik
A Decade Plus of Dreams and Creativity
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE...
I literally drew and painted it all.
Southwest Art - Scifi Art - Pinup Art - Ufology Art - Space Art Ufology Art - Visionary Art - Fan Art
A decade of my art represented here. And it's ALL still available as Prints, Posters and other Merch.
I have three main shops to choose various qualities, sizes, merch and formats. Giclees, T-Shirts and Hoodies, Postcards and Greeting Cards, Stickers, Photo Prints, Posters and even some Computer Skins and Phone Covers in addition to the huge amount of Posters. There's even some custom framing and matting available as well.
If you don't see something that you remembered over the years and liked, let me know and I can either load it up or Special Order it.
MY SHOPS
Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/erikstittart?asc=u
ArtPal: https://www.artpal.com/redwoodjedi
DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/redwoodjedi/prints/
If you would like to have something ordered and signed, please email me at erikstittart@gmail.com to discuss sizes and prices.
Thank you all for over a Decade of support and kindness,
Erik
